George K. Fahnbulleh

Ideas and Opinions...

A Satirical Look at Homophobia in Liberia

All Liberian anti-gay activists have decided to join forces under a single umbrella to help stamp out homosexuality in the small west African nation. The group (PEWMAH) Pedophiles, Embezzlers, Warlords, Molesters, Adulterers Against Homosexuals claims the mantle of covering about 90 percent of the Liberian Population.

According to the group spokesman, Bigboy Gorbachop, "we represent the national character and identity of Liberia, and we, therefore, oppose the legalization of this type of satanic vice which can destroy our proud national heritage."

He further went on to say "we acknowledge we are all sinners; however, homosexuality, is against the very nature of our shared Liberian and African heritage."

The group says there is no reason to hold national meetings or conventions as 9 out of every 10 Liberians are members of one or more of its subgroups. "Anywhere more than three people are seen, dah meeting!" said the spokesman.

However, not all anti-homosexual groups are happy about the naming of this umbrella group. The Group Sex Association (GSA) of Liberia, the Closeted Legislative Caucus (CLC), as well as the Greater Monrovia Chapter of Fornicators Anonymous (FA), the Hidden Homosexuals of Liberia(HHL),and Parishioners for Promiscuity (PfP) have all put out statements protesting not being recognized by this umbrella group.

The Godma and Godpa Association of Liberia, currently holding their national convention in Bongquenemah,  could not be reached for comment.

The Closeted Legislative Causes, which is comprised of closeted members of the legislature stressed they are vehemently opposed to the legalization of gay marriage in Liberia. Their spokesman said, off the record, "if gay marriage is legalized in Liberia, some of our closeted partners will demand marriage proposals from us; we prefer to continue to act in a manner that is culturally acceptable for Liberia and Africa as a whole."

For its part, the Group Sex Association spokesman, Mr. Paigar Jukay, said even though his group is not named in the initials of the umbrella group, he is pleased that Liberians of all stripes are waking up to fight this terrible lifestyle. He continued that with the addition of these four groups they will achieve nearly 98% of the population of Liberia. He also reminded this reporter, many Liberians are actually members of multiple groups named here.